I Just Don't Know

Im sitting here trying to figure out how I'm going to start of this blog. My BF actions are really getting to me, but I just don't know how to tell him. We just went through a situation a few days about Twitter and now its something else on FB. All I know is I ask him about it its going to be excuses. Like it's an inside joke. I don't think I want to get into it because I've been arguing since the age of 15 with all my BF's. Now that I'm 20 I just feel like I don't have time for any games. But let me tell it, he doesn't either. I mean if you wanna talk to other people, fine, just don't do it on my time. You know its very precious. At first I wondered if it was too good to be true. Like a perfect gentleman. I had nothing to worry about. Or so I thought. Like I wonder should I just leave it alone or should I just ask. But if I don't ask, will he continue to do it. Sometimes I just dont know. Like now I'm really in a predicament. But I already know if I ask he's going to be like she's nobody, I love you, I don't want jeopardize us. . .Blah, Blah, Blah. Sorry. It's just random thoughts.

My Fav Songs of the 90's [Random]

So I was listening to Keith Sweat's 'Make It Last Forever' and decided to make a list of my favorite songs.

• Keith Sweat - Make it last forever, Nobody, & Twisted
• Jodeci- Come & talk to me & Forever my lady
• Ginuwine - Pony & None of your friends business
• Tevin Campbell- Can we talk & Tell me what you want me to do
• Bell Biv Dovoe - Poison
• Boyz II Men - End of the road & I'll make love to you
• Mary J Blige - Real Love & Im going down
• Dru Hill - In my bed, 5 steps, These are the times, & Tell me
• Changing Faces - Get OUT, Can't be that other woman, & Stroke you up
• Deborah Cox- Nobody's Suppose to be here
• Divine- Lately
• Xscape - Understanding, Who Can I Run To, & You're My Little Secret
• Aaliyah - One in A million, Age Aint Nothing But A Number, At Your Best, How Could the One
• Brandy - Sitting Up In My Room. I Wanna Be Down. Brokenhearted
• 702 - Get It Together & Where My Girls At
• Destiny's Child- No, No, No
• Usher - My Way, You Make Me Wanna, & Slow Jams
• Toni Braxton - Unbreak My Heart
• TLC- Creep, Red Light Special & I Aint Too Proud To Beg
• Something For The People - My Love is Shh!
• Ideal - Get Gone
• Prophet Jones - Life Time
• Profyle - Liar
• LovHer- How its going to be
• Tony! Toni! Tone - Anniversary & Me and You
• Soul for Real - Candy Rain
• Silk - Freak Me & Meeting In My Bedroom
• Rude Boyz - Its written all over your face
• Color Me Badd- I wanna sex you up
• R. Kelly- Bump n Grind, You remind me of something, Down Low, Seems Like Your Ready, Your Body's Calling, Step in my room, I can't sleep
• H- Town - Knocking the boots
• Shai- If I ever
• SWV- Weak & Rain
• Tyrese- Lately
• 112- Anywhere, Cupid, & Your Letter
• New Edition- Im Still In Love With You
• Case- Happily Ever After
• Lauryn Hill- Killing Me Softly, Ex-factor, & Nothing Even Matters

That's just a few that I love (=

Like, Love, Hurt, & Healing

Like…
It’s the bubbly feeling first shows itself; when you enjoy talking to someone and spending time with them. Smiling when you simply see them calling. It’s when you realize that you want more than a friendship. It is you hoping for a future, hoping for something more. It’s enjoying your time, any time, you have with the person. Beginning to miss them when they are gone, calling to see if they are okay, and wondering how their day went. It’s when you realize that you are taking baby steps towards the possibility of trusting them. And when you are ready to trust them with your emotions and a bond has been built, you move on to…
Love…
It’s about taking chances. It’s about trusting someone not to hurt you; giving them your all and not regretting a moment of it. See what happens is that we let go with the intention of holding on. No see, I don’t think you all caught that, so let me say it again…we [let go] with the intention of [holding on]. Understand now? It means that we let go of our fears and inhibitions just to see if we can hold on to that person. We begin to trust them; begin to expect them hold on as well. We take a dive and expect not to drown. But what happens when they [let go] just as we did…except without the intention of [holding on]. Well that’s when we fall, that’s when we feel….
Hurt…
It’s the product of love ended, or maybe love unfulfilled. It is us jumping off the cliff and realizing that our parachute does not work. It is the beginning of a new lesson. It is a difficult lesson to learn. Hurt is when we question if we loved in the first place. We re-think the moments and wonder if it was all a lie; perhaps love is a façade? Something we imagine to make us feel all warm inside. We re-teach ourselves not to let go, to hold on to no one but ourselves. We cry tears at night that no one may ever know existed. We get angry in the midst of wondering why and how. Some may want to [hate] the one that caused their hurt. But you must remember that if someone hurt you like that, then you can not hate them, because in actuality you care about them too much. And as the days go by, the hurt gets better, or at least goes to a place in which you don’t think about it. Maybe you are numbed after your storm. And then we have…
Healing…
The time in which you realize that you deserve better than what you had; the time in which you are back to the old person you were, or new person in some cases. It is the time when you find the [best of you] and learn to be happy on your own. Healing can be helped along by the people God places in our lives, rather it be a friend who comforts you or someone who comes along and shows you what it’s like to be treated the right way. It is the time when you realize that love from your friends and family is enough to keep you grounded; when you realize that you don’t [need] that person. Healing is when you realize that life has its ups and downs, but get the courage to face them. It is when you make it through your storm to a bright day and just smile.

ITS LIKE, L0VE, HURT, HEALING....stages we all go through
HAHA.....0R IS IT?????